Posted by: Helen on: April 29, 2006
Element name: WOMAN.Symbol: WO.
Atomic weight: 'Don't even go there'.
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold, silver, platinum,and precious gemstones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great [...]
Posted by: Helen on: April 29, 2006
Men are like…..Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like…..Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like…..Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they
just look silly.
Men are like…..Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like…..Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all [...]
Posted by: Helen on: April 29, 2006
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A [...]
Posted by: Helen on: April 29, 2006
Why computers should be considered masculine:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, [...]
Posted by: Helen on: April 29, 2006
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon [...]
